


The Life that Never Lived- Harry Potter and the ?????? (Half-Blood Prince)

by bookhater95



Series: The Life that Never Lived [6]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: F/M, Reading the Books
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-01
Updated: 2019-05-01
Packaged: 2020-02-10 22:16:50
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,376
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18669448
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bookhater95/pseuds/bookhater95
Summary: Harry knew he should be feeling more alone than ever, his next year only seems to hold misery ahead for all readers, while his memories are still trying to warn him how much worse it could get...- Complete, email me for details.





	The Life that Never Lived- Harry Potter and the ?????? (Half-Blood Prince)

Deathly Hallows is now complete! I can't help but scream this at every opportunity!

Instead of reposting these without the bold text, as I know does not work as well, instead email me and I will be more than happy to send you the entire series!

* * *

Remus wasn't really asleep. Sirius had shared a dorm with him for seven years and a flat for the past two years already, he knew how he slept as well as any of his mates, far better than anyone from his own house, so those little snorts he was trying to pass off as his real sleep wasn't fooling anyone, especially not Sirius. He let him keep going though, in hopes that he actually would fall asleep soon. Sirius, for once, was not in a very talktative mood tonight. None of them really were, which is likely why the other three had gone to bed so early after an equally timely supper. The curiosity lingered of course, to ask why Moony would feign sleep instead of staying up for whatever time they pleased, chatting away about nothing. Both of them were nightowls by nature, easily staying awake the latest without even realizing it. James had more been the early riser, bounding out of bed with the most energy easily and whipping them all up for the morning.

Sirius had to force his mind to cut off there, to remind himself again why he couldn't just go out right now and fix this problem that had lead to more awkward silence between them than even Sirius had ever caused. So instead he sat there, stirring his cold tea and gazing out the back door at nothing and forcing himself to remain on an issue he could pick apart. Normally Remus only feigned sleep the night before a full moon, he was usually least talkative those days and still no matter what tried to put a bit of distance between himself and everyone else. This clearly wasn't it this time though. Perhaps he was just dreading what they were going to hear next like they all were, no one wanted to keep going and hear more of Harry's life after what he'd last been through. It grew harder by the day to pretend like this future was flexible, now even he wasn't around to help Harry anymore. Remus was the last of James' friends who stood any chance in staying in Harry's life, and his trackrecord wasn't steller for doing that so far. Remus likely no more believed than Sirius it would change now.

By far the most agitating part of it was that Moony hadn't just come and talked to him about it. Sure he feigned normalcy earlier when they'd been reading those Beedle tales with Harry, but Sirius had still been waiting at any moment for Remus to turn around and tell him what was really on his mind. He hadn't, and he still wasn't now at the most opportune time.

He was trying to be mature about this, not let the idea his future would cease after so many terrible and long years crush him into a weeping mess. So he wouldn't go in and bother Moony if he didn't want to be, but also the idea of being shut up in a room alone was just too repellent right now, even in a house he actually liked. What he wouldn't give just to leave, for ten minutes. To be back in the Forbidden Forest where their biggest worry was which direction Moony was headed in, the moonlight bathing everything with a mysterious glow they understood better than anyone, just running to run and caring for nothing more than each other...

James came down the stairs next morning and frowned with concern. Remus was face down into the couch cushions like always, but Sirius seemed to have passed out at the table right where he'd left him last night. He'd fully expected Padfoot and Moony to be up for hours chatting away like he and Lily had, but clearly neither had moved an inch.

With a heavy sigh he went to work getting his infants morning bottle ready, and settled in the seat next to his bestman, sitting contently as his charge at his breakfast. James couldn't sit in silence for long though, so as soon as the baby was done he set him in his highchair and reached over to prod Sirius awake.

He merely groaned and buried his face into the crook of his arms, the cup of tea coming dangerously close to being knocked over in the process. James scooted this farther away from him before doing it again. "You're an idiot."

"Always a lovely thing to hear first moment of the day," he muffled around a yawn.

"Then don't be an idiot and fall asleep in a position that we're going to have to hear about all day," he returned much more pleasantly. It wasn't that unheard of, Sirius had been known to fall asleep over his homework a few times in their sixth year, but they'd learned the reason for that later, at the time they just hadn't realized how right they'd been in mocking him for trying to impress someone.

"Why's he slumped over the table this time?" Lily yawned her greeting as she passed by.

"I'm working up to that," James promised.

She stopped and greeted her infant before giving her husband a quick kiss and sitting down on his other side. Sirius still had his face buried away, but the scent of the bacon and eggs she'd started had his nose finally twitching towards the surface.

It wasn't until Harry came down the stairs that Sirius forced himself to wake fully, rousing by shaking himself and blurry eyes focusing on nothing.

"I volunteer Sirius to be the one to wake up Moony," James said around a full mouth, runny egg still going down his chin.

"I say we leave him there, if he wants to sleep through breakfast that's his problem," Sirius huffed while ripping bacon apart and managing to fit more in his mouth that way.

Lily turned with the same napkin she'd just used on her infant to plop onto James face as a hint before going up to do it herself while the boys hardly noticed as they kept bickering.

Even as Remus joined, stirring brown sugar into his eggs but still mixing more than eating them, Harry seemed the last to really wake up. Who would have thought he'd long for the dreams of the graveyard back, yet the replay of watching Sirius fall through the veil all night had been more a stab to his soul than Voldemort could ever do to him.

He would have thought coming down here and finally interacting with him would help, but even watching that color on his face, hearing him chat animatedly with his dad, watching him shift his weight restlessly as even food couldn't contain all of his energy, it only made the feeling he'd been suppressing the past day double. This wasn't his Sirius, the one he'd lost fourteen years from now. So how then was he supposed to cope with a loss when it kept making jokes in his face?

Lily had to wrangle all of the boys to get into the living room so they could start Harry's next year, if she had to see her boy with half lidded eyes much longer she would have tucked him back into bed herself, yet just as much she couldn't have stood hearing the sounds of his nightmares through the walls. She and James had gone in there through the night to soothe him, but he'd hardly seemed any better in their presence.

She'd even seen Sirius duck out, but his presence seemed to have helped no more. Their ability to comfort him had lasted no longer than his childhood innocence, and it was quickly growing worse by the hour as he continued to pull away from them, absorbed more than ever in memories of pain. So she went back to reading, determined more than ever to help him have all of those moments from his past back, so that he could start focusing on his future.


End file.
